Marriage

Luke Mihaly  September 7 2009 12:09:07 AM

So many of us make our life in Christ so much more difficult and complicated than it has to be.   Our Lord gave us one commandment that  is to Love one another as I have loved you (John 15:12).  If we do this, we fulfill all of the Law and all of the Canons of the Church.  This is our simple Christian Faith.  

In the relationship of marriage this Christian Love is best expressed during the service in the wearing of the marriage crowns which symbolize the crown of thorns our Lord wore during His Passion.  Husband and wife are to die to each other so that the other may have life and have it more abundantly (John 10:10).  Just as Christ died for us so that we might have life and have it more abundantly, so we, husbands and wives, die to each other so that the other may have life and have it more abundantly.  

But love exists only if it is freely given and freely received.  Christ freely surrendered Himself to death to save us because He loves us.  So the fundamental under-pinning of every loving relationship is freedom.  Marriage is a sacrificial love that is offered in freedom.  However, not only must one offer that sacrificial love in freedom, that love must also be allowed to be accepted freely.  Christ freely died for us because He loves us, but He does not force us to love Him.  With Christ as our example, husband and wife need to love and be loved freely.  

Many problems in marriage come about because of a lack of freedom in the relationship.  Love is demanded and/or expected by spouses.  When these demands and/or expectations are not met, there develops anger, disappointment, disdain.   Without freedom, relationships become mechanical, robotic and stale.  Where there is freedom there is creativity, vitality, newness of life.  

Greater love has no man than he lay down his life for another and this is the love that is asked of us in sacrament of marriage.

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